i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
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I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize