I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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