Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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