He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I want to fling myself into the sun
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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