I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so let's talk penis.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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