i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
