Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
