I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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