I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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