you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I supernannyed him into submission
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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