I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
