So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize