K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
