Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so let's talk penis.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize