you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
