Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
