you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
is that a dick in a sweater?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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