the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
"it" just moved
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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