Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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