Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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