Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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