hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
