Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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