So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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