i permit you to call me
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
