Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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