I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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