I bet he comes in French.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
