wat bout pragnant strippers??
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
