isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
