They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize