I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
