After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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