they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize