I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
