two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
