5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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