So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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