Im at strip club and am horny
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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