and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
