we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
