i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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