Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
