but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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