she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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