Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
