just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
