DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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