My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
