I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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