I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
