Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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