I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
