What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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