we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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